because no great story starts with someone eating a salad.
I have worked every position there is in a restaurant. From server to bartender to chef. I thought I would share some things restaurant collegues and myself have discussed or witnessed over the years.
In the dining room
If you are having an arguement at your table and all of a sudden you see a server start refilling the salt and pepper shakers at the table next to you or refill your water, know they are only there to listen to your arguement.
If its not on the menu dont ask us to make you something special. We will be happy to modify our selections the best we can but if you were in an italian restaurant would you order a quesadilla??
No, you cant have a steak between medium and medium rare- Pick One!
Some bread baskets get recycled. If you are in a seafood restaurant and you order drawn butter for your lobster tail, there is a chance it is butter that was in someones bread basket the night before and put in a community pot.
If you order coffee after 9pm, chances are you are getting decaf. Waitstaff are consolidating after the evening rush and do not want to clean 2 urns later that night. They will walk to your table with a regular pot and decaf pot, but chances are there is decaf in both.
Behind the bar....loved those late nights in Red Bank. I met my wife 14 years ago slingin drinks behind a bar.
Bartenders hate making blended drinks especially then they are 3 deep at the bar. You will be told the blender is broke even when it isnt.
Whistle, wave your hand or say "hey bartender" and you will wait even longer.
If you order zinfandel and we ask you white or red and you respond "pink", we will make fun of you.
If you get cut off, dont argue. Instead you should probably applogize to the people sitting around you that had to listen to you acting like an asshole all night.
If you are on your 5th JW Blue and cola, you are most likely getting well scotch at this point.
Im not a scotch drinker but my brother in law Jim who takes his scotch seriously would probably smack who over ruins good scotch with cola.
If you tell me to make your drink stronger next time I will, but you are also getting charged for a double.
In the kitchen
Most homemade dressings are bought in 1 gallon containers. Cooks just add crumbled blue cheese and call it "homemade"
The special of the day is sometimes whatever they need to sell before it goes bad. Watch out for the soup of the day if it contains shellfish. It may be whats called "on the turn".
If a restaurant says desserts are homemade they probably are - at a bakery 2 miles away.
Off Premise Catering- If you are lucky enough to be invited to a lovely outdoor catered event, enjoy the menu your host and caterer put alot of effort into for that special day. Do not have the nerve to ask if we can make a special pasta for your gluten sensative kid. If it wasnt previously ordered by the client and brought by the caterer, you are S.O.L.
We are feeing 250 people in a 10x10 tent in the middle of a parking lot with no running water. Go F*** yourself.